Molly Battles is a professional line stander and drying paint watcher. Known for being the world’s
most controversial Instagrammer. Has 20 cats and 7 birds. Not fact-checked.
Kaylee Birkner is an extreme unicyclist and exorcist. Single mom of twelve. Currently detained by
government officials for suspicious demigod activity. Not fact-checked.
Cameron Brown is a genetically modified alien and professional Mahjong player. Ostensibly, he can
be visited on weekends, but it is not recommended. Not fact-checked.
Casey Goodson is a world-renowned competitive surfer, lumberjack, reptile urologist, and part-time
drummer for the E Street Band. Not fact-checked.
Sarah Chiles is a public defender for the planet Pluto, speaks fluent German and Dolphin, and
spent a year abroad as a sentient table. Not fact-checked.
Xavier Knight is the reincarnation of an evil wizard who spends more time playing video games rather
than world domination. He has a rainbow panda. Not fact-checked.
Michael Lee passed away July 3, 1971. No one is sure how his name got into the self-written bio
section. Not fact-checked.
Sophia McLain is a grotesquely long humanoid creature. Reportedly seen in cupboards folded in slinky-like
fashion. Known for work comparing Norse runes and social cubism. Not fact-checked.
Oak Satornpitak is a monthly ghost-hunter. He used to work as a Herpetologist in Mexico, studying
the habits of American tourists. He’s married with a wife. – Not fact-checked.
Michelle Vinson is a garden witch that lives with her sister and her two aunts they’re also witches.
She spends her free time flying a broom. Not fact-checked.
Avreigh Watson is an American actor best known for roles of Ben Sanderson in Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
and Benjamin Gates in Disney’s National Treasure (2004). Not fact-checked.
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