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Applause Journal: Issue #32 Masthead

  • Molly Battles is a professional line stander and drying paint watcher. Known for being the world’s most controversial Instagrammer. Has 20 cats and 7 birds. Not fact-checked.

  • Kaylee Birkner is an extreme unicyclist and exorcist. Single mom of twelve. Currently detained by government officials for suspicious demigod activity. Not fact-checked. 

  • Cameron Brown is a genetically modified alien and professional Mahjong player. Ostensibly, he can be visited on weekends, but it is not recommended. Not fact-checked.

  • Casey Goodson is a world-renowned competitive surfer, lumberjack, reptile urologist, and part-time drummer for the E Street Band. Not fact-checked.

  • Sarah Chiles is a public defender for the planet Pluto, speaks fluent German and Dolphin, and spent a year abroad as a sentient table. Not fact-checked.

  • Xavier Knight is the reincarnation of an evil wizard who spends more time playing video games rather than world domination. He has a rainbow panda. Not fact-checked.

  • Michael Lee passed away July 3, 1971. No one is sure how his name got into the self-written bio section. Not fact-checked.

  • Sophia McLain is a grotesquely long humanoid creature. Reportedly seen in cupboards folded in slinky-like fashion. Known for work comparing Norse runes and social cubism. Not fact-checked.

  • Oak Satornpitak is a monthly ghost-hunter. He used to work as a Herpetologist in Mexico, studying the habits of American tourists. He’s married with a wife. – Not fact-checked.

  • Michelle Vinson is a garden witch that lives with her sister and her two aunts they’re also witches. She spends her free time flying a broom. Not fact-checked.

  • Avreigh Watson is an American actor best known for roles of Ben Sanderson in Leaving Las Vegas (1995) and Benjamin Gates in Disney’s National Treasure (2004). Not fact-checked.